Before I Speak, I Have Something Important

Just Give Me A Comfortable Couch, A Dog, A Good Book, And A Woman. Then If You Can Get The Dog To Go Somewhere And Read The Book, I Might Have A Little Fun.

Bel Air, I Am Convinced, Was Laid Out By Some Diabolic Sadist Who Deliberately Decided Not To Use A Compass Or A Surveyor.

A Thing That Has Always Baffled Me About Women Is That They Will Saturate Themselves With A Pint Of Perfume, A Pound Of Sachet Powder, An Evil-smelling Lip Rouge, A Peculiar-smelling Hair Ointment And A Half-dozen Varieties Of Body Oils, And Then Have The Effrontery To Complain Of The Aroma Of A Fine Dollar Cigar.

Military Intelligence Is A Contradiction In Terms.

I'm Not Much Of A Correspondent. My Letters Are Not Only Uninteresting But Sparse. I'm Glad I Don?t Have To Write For A Living. It?s Arduous Work And The Money Is Very Uncertain. On Those Rare Occasions When I Wander Into A Bookstore It Amazes Me To See The Avalanche Of Literature And Semi-literature That Is Turned Out Weekly In This Country. The People Who Write These Things Are Either Desperate For Money Or Love Starved. Why Should Anyone On A Nice Balmy Day Lock Oneself In An Office And Hit A Typewriter For Hours On End. I Think One Of The Greatest Pleasures In The World Is Not Writing.