Before I Speak, I Have Something Important

The Trouble With Writing A Book About Yourself Is That You Can’t Fool Around. If You Write About Someone Else, You Can Stretch The Truth From Here To Finland. If You Write About Yourself The Slightest Deviation Makes You Realize Instantly That There May Be Honor Among Thieves, But You Are Just A Dirty Liar.

Thirteen At A Table Is Unlucky Only, When The Hostess Has Only Twelve Chops.

I'm Not Feeling Very Well - I Need A Doctor Immediately. Ring The Nearest Golf Course.

One Of The Best Hearing Aids A Man Can Have Is An Attentive Wife.

You've Got A Goal In Life. I've Got A Goal. Now All We Need Is A Football Team.