Any Online Gamblers Here? Well, Congress Is

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

This Osama Bin Laden, Now They Say He Has Had Plastic Surgery. They Say He Sneaked Across The Border Into Pakistan, Which By The Way Is The Place To Go To Have Plastic Surgery. He Looks Great. A Tourist Came Up To Him Earlier This Week And Said, 'may I Have Your Autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

I Heard This Today And I Thought This Was Fascinating And Interesting. President Bush Has Two Daughters, Two Beautiful Daughters, And They May Work On Their Father's Presidential Campaign After They Get Out Of College And I Thought, Well, That's A Pretty Good Move Because In This Economy, They Won't Be Able To Find Real Jobs.

I Think I Might Have A Bad Psychic Advisor. When I Asked Her To Contact The Dead, She Gave Me Keith Richards' Phone Number.

The Catholic Church Has A Tough New Policy On Child Molestors: Three Strikes And You're A Cardinal.