I Have Talents Aplenty. Unfortunately, Precious Few

Yesterday Was The New York City Marathon. Republicans Won In A Landslide.

New York Now Leads The World's Great Cities In The Number Of People Around Whom You Shouldn't Make A Sudden Move.

John Mccain Said That Sarah Palin Is Still A Force In The Republican Party. Then He Got In His Car And Backed Over His Mailbox.

The Bush Campaign For Re-election Has Officially Begun. They're Actually Running Television Commercials. Have You Seen Any Of The Television Commercials? In One Of The Commercials, You See George Bush For Thirty Seconds. In Another Commercial, You Get To See George Bush For Sixty Seconds - Kind Of Like His Stint In The National Guard.

Barack Obama Said He May Negotiate With The Taliban. A Lot Of People Are Saying Okay, But Be Careful. But I Said This Guy Has Experience Negotiating With The Enemy. For Gosh Sake, He Lives With His Mother-in-law, You Know.