An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who

I Don't Run With Anybody's Herd. I Don't Like Crowds. I Don't Like Going To Fancy Places. I Don't Like The Whole Nightclub Scene. Cocktail Parties Drive Me Mad. So I Do My Job And I Stay Away From The Rest Of It.

I'm Often Asked, "what Is Your Favorite Moment During The 30 Years You Hosted [the Tonight Show]?" I Really Don't Have Just One. The Times I Enjoyed The Most Were The Spontaneous, Unplanned Segments That Just Happened, Like Ed Ames' Infamous "tomahawk Toss" That Produced One Of The Longest Laughs In Television History. When These Lucky Moments Happen, You Just Go With Them And Enjoy The Experience And High Of The Moment.

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.

Happiness Is Seeing Your Son Drafted The Same Day He's Been Accepted To An Expensive College.

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.