An Irishman's Wife Gave Birth To Twins.

Have You Heard About The Irishman Who Reversed Into A Car Boot Sale And Sold The Engine?

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

What's The Difference Between A Rottweiler And A Poodle Peeing On Your Leg? You Let The Rottweiler Finish.

It's My Wife Ruth's Birthday Soon. I Said To Her: "what Would You Like For Your Birthday?" She Said: "i Want A Divorce." I Said: "i Wasn't Planning On Spending That Much."

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."