Did You Know You Can Have An

My Irish Mate Told Me, If You File Down The Edges Of A 50 Pence Piece, You Can Use It As A 10p.

My Idea For Peace In The Middle East Is To Go Back To The 1966 Line, But To Build Even More Houses For The Palestinians, Who Are A Poor People.

My Father Fought In World War I And Single-handedly Destroyed The Germans' Line Of Communication. He Ate Their Pigeon.

So I Rang Up British Telecom, I Said 'i Want To Report A Nuisance Caller', He Said 'not You Again'.

I Just Want To Apologise For Being Late. I Was Flying Back From Spain And The Air Hostess Said: "we Are Two Hours Late Mr Carson." When I Asked Why, She Said: "the Pilot Has Heard A Funny Noise In The Engine That He Doesn't Like, So We Are Waiting On Another Pilot Who Can't Hear It."