All Publicity Is Good, Except An Obituary

Prostitutes, More Than Any Other Profession, Help Keep American Marriages Together.

Ninety-seven Saint Days A Year Wouldn't Affect The Theater, But Two Yom Kippurs Would Ruin It.

Every Cripple Has His Own Way Of Walking.

When I'm Talking To People I Like To Stop And Quote Myself. My Quotes Have A Way Of Spicing Up Conversation.

The English And Americans Dislike Only Some Irish--the Same Irish That The Irish Themselves Detest, Irish Writers--the Ones That Think.