... All Of Us Talk Faster Than

Would A Real Man Get Caught Eating A Twinkie?

The Best Christmas Trees Come Very Close To Exceeding Nature. If Some Of Our Great Decorated Trees Had Been Grown In A Remote Forest Area With Lights That Came On Every Evening As It Grew Dark, The Whole World Would Come To Look At Them And Marvel At The Mystery Of Their Great Beauty.

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

The One Affectation I Have Forced On The Publisher... Are My Apostrophe-free Ellisions. Because I Write My Scripts To Read Myself, I Dont Spell 'don't' With An Apostrophe. I Spell It 'dont'. We All Know The Word And It Seems Foolish To Put In An Extraneous Apostrophe. Punctuation Marks Are Devices We Use To Make The Meaning Of Sentences Clear. There Is Nothing Confusing About A Word Like 'dont' Printed Without An Apostrophe To Indicate An Omitted Letter.

There's Nothing People Like Better Than Being Asked An Easy Question. For Some Reason, We're Flattered When A Stranger Asks Us Where Maple Street Is In Our Hometown And We Can Tell Him.