All My Friends Are Dying. That's Why

Tonight I'll Be Interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro And Djimon Honsou - And Yes, Those Are Actors, Not Caterers.

If You Don't Think You're Funny, No One Else Will.

I Started My Career In A Town So Small The Local Clinic Was Called Fred's Hospital And Grill.

Life Goes By Fast. Enjoy It. Calm Down. It's All Funny.

I Hate Mcdonald's. I Don't Want To Order My Dinner By Yelling Into A Clown's Mouth. If I Want My Face In A Clown's Mouth, I'll Tongue Kiss Glenn Beck.