I Spent Most Of My Adult Life

That's My Private Business. Besides, The Perception Is That People That Believe In God Are Stupid.

I Don't Know What's More Exhausting About Parenting: The Getting Up Early, Or Acting Like You Know What You're Doing.

The Pearly Gates. Am I The Only One Who Finds It Odd That Heaven Has Gates? What Kind Of Neighborhood Is Heaven In?

Bacon's The Best, Even The Frying Of Bacon Sounds Like An Applause.

How Did We Get To The Point Where We're Paying For Bottled Water? That Must Have Been Some Weird Marketing Meeting Over In France. Some French Guy's Sitting There, Like, "how Dumb Do I Think The Americans Are? I Bet You We Could Sell Those Idiots Water."