After Nearly 15 Minutes Of Soul Searching,

Liberals Want To Burn The Flag, But Progressives Just Want To Microwave It?

I Believe That People, More Often Than Not, Act With The Best Possible Intentions. And When They Don't, That's Funny To Me. That's Why Comedy Ends Up Seeming Cynical, Because You're Talking About The Gap Between What People Say And What They Do.

I'm Not A Fan Of Facts. You See, The Facts Can Change, But My Opinion Will Never Change, No Matter What The Facts Are.

Northwestern's Alumni List Is Truly Impressive. This University Has Graduated Best-selling Authors, Olympians, Presidential Candidates, Grammy Winners, Peabody Winners, Emmy Winners, And That's Just Me!

I Am No Fan Of Books. And Chances Are, If You're Reading This, You And I Share A Healthy Skepticism About The Printed Word. Well, I Want You To Know That This Is The First Book I've Ever Written, And I Hope It's The First Book You've Ever Read. Don't Make A Habit Of It.