Scientists Have Invented A New Strain Of

Used Books Are The Sluts Of The Literary World. Passed Around From Person To Person, Spreading Their Pages For Anyone, Getting Cheaper And Cheaper Until Eventually They End Up In Prison.

Sixty Eight Percent Of Republicans Don't Believe In Evolution. On The Other Hand, Only Five Percent Of Monkeys Believe In Republicans.

Charles Darwin Got Totally Hammered, Woke Up Next To A Monkey And Decided He Had To Come Up With A Theory To Make It All Okay.

John Boehner Will Be The New Speaker Unless, Out Of Habit, He Blocks His Own Confirmation.

If This Is Going To Be A Christian Nation That Doesn't Help The Poor, Either We Have To Pretend That Jesus Was Just As Selfish As We Are, Or We've Got To Acknowledge That He Commanded Us To Love The Poor And Serve The Needy Without Condition And Then Admit That We Just Don't Want To Do It.