If God Wanted Us To Accept Gays,

Brb, Ttyl Ok? Wow, I Saved A 'ton' Of Time With Those Acronyms.

Hey, Single Malt Scotch, Youre Thirty Years Old. When Are You Going To Settle Down And Get Married To My Stomach?

We All Deserve Credit For This New Surveillance State That We Live In Because We The People Voted For The Patriot Act. Democrats And Republicans Alike....we Voted For The People Who Voted For It, And Then Voted For The People Who Reauthorized It, Then Voted For The People Who Re-re-authorize D It.

You Can Change The World. Please Don't Do That, Ok? Some Of Us Like The Way Things Are Going Now.

Northwestern's Alumni List Is Truly Impressive. This University Has Graduated Best-selling Authors, Olympians, Presidential Candidates, Grammy Winners, Peabody Winners, Emmy Winners, And That's Just Me!