According To The Mayans, The World Is

They Said That President Bush's War In Iraq Has Cost The Former Spanish Prime Minister His Job. So President Bush Isn't Losing American Jobs Anymore, He's Branching Out To Other Countries.

President Obama Said He Is Going To Use The Gulf Disaster To Push A New Energy Bill Through Congress. How About Using The Gulf Disaster To Fix The Gulf Disaster?

As You May Have Heard, The U.s. Is Putting Together A Constitution For Iraq. Why Don't We Just Give Them Ours? Think About It - It Was Written By Very Smart People, It's Served Us Well For Over Two Hundred Years, And Besides, We're Not Using It Anymore.

A New York Doctor Has Finished A Five Year Study On What Smells Have The Biggest Effect On New Yorkers. The Smell New Yorkers Like The Most: Vanilla. The Smell New Yorkers Like The Least: New Jersey.

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Raised Security Alert To A Code Red. Apparently Howard Dean Has Escaped. Did You See Dean's Crazed Speech The Other Night, Yelling? I See Why His Wife Won't Campaign With Him. In Fact, Dean Has A New Slogan: 'aaghhhh.'