A Well-balanced Person Has A Drink In

I Don't Aim To Offend.

I Don't Have Wild Dogs Chasing People With Scripts Away From My Door. I Get My Share. I've Done Okay. But I Usually Do Independent Stuff Because That's Mostly What I'm Offered.

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

I Loved Japan. I Used To Read A Lot About It When I Was A Child. And I Always Wanted To Go. And It Was Delightful. I Absolutely Loved It. What A Smashing Place.