A Survey Has Shown That The Average

A Man In Florida Has Been Arrested For Wearing A President Obama Mask While Robbing A Mcdonald's. To Show You How Good This Guy's Disguise Was, Instead Of A Holdup Note He Was Reading From A Teleprompter.

Major Heat Wave In India - 122 Degrees Today. It Was So Hot People In India Were Sweating Like Americans Waiting To Hear If Their Job Is Being Outsourced To India.

You Know What You Call The Two Winners Of That $580 Million Powerball Lottery? ... Former Democrats

I Went To See The Terminator Movie The Other Night. Every Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Came On The Screen This Guy In Front Of Me Went 'booo! Booo!' And Was Throwing Stuff. I Had To Say 'governor Davis Just Shut Up And Sit Down!'

John Kerry Said Today That He Wants To Get Rid Of Tax Cuts For The Rich And His Wife Said, 'hey, Shut Up! What's The Matter With You?! Are You Nuts?!'