A Survey Has Shown That The Average

Martha Stewart Was Found Guilty On All Charges. You Know What That Means, Stripes Are In This Year.

The Ceo Of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, Married One Of The Enron Secretaries This Week. It's Amazing How Romantic These Enron Guys Can Be When They Realize That Wives Can't Be Forced To Testify Against Their Husbands. Skilling Said Today She Was The Best Secretary Enron Had Ever Had. She Could Shred 950 Words A Minute. ... I Guess They Are On Their Honeymoon Right Now. That's Going Pretty Well. Hey, He's Used To Screwing Enron Employees.

The New York Police Department Says Iran Has Conducted Surveillance Inside New York City. They Say Iranian Operatives Are Using Special Mobile Surveillance Units. I Believe They're Called Taxi Cabs.

Al Gore Has Found A New Job. He Is Going To Teach Journalism At Columbia University, Which Is Ironic Isn't It? The Guy Who Did All The Coke Winds Up Going To The White House, The Guy Who Didn't Do Coke Goes To Columbia.

If God Doesn't Destroy Hollywood Boulevard, He Owes Sodom And Gomorrah An Apology.