A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For

Stand-up Is An Art But Since It's Humor And It's Funny - A Lot Of Guys That Don't Think It's Art Are Probably Coming From The Angle That They Don't Want To Take It So Seriously. I've Always Looked At It As An Art But I Don't Look At It As A Pretentious Art. I Understand It Has To Be Taken Lightly Because It Is Just Comedy In The End, But The Good Stand-up Comics Are Someone With Something To Say.

I Got A King-sized Bed. I Don't Know Any Kings, But If One Came Over, I Guess He'd Be Comfortable.

I Want To Get A Vending Machine, With Fun Sized Candy Bars, And The Glass In Front Is A Magnifying Glass. You'll Be Mad, But It Will Be Too Late.

I Wrote A Letter To My Dad - I Wrote, "i Really Enjoy Being Here," But I Accidentally Wrote Rarely Instead Of Really. But I Still Wanted To Use It, So I Wrote, "i Rarely Drive Steamboats, Dad - There's A Lot Of Stuff You Don't Know About Me. Quit Trying To Act Like I'm A Steamboat Operator." This Letter Took A Harsh Turn Right Away.

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.