A Sigh Is An Amplifier For People

The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining, Remember That Your Garbage Disposal Probably Eats Better Than 30 Percent Of The People In The World

I'm Beginning To Wonder About My Broker. Yesterday I Told Him To Buy A Hundred Shares Of A.t.&t. He Said, 'would You Spell That?'

Sometimes I Get The Feeling The Whole World Is Against Me, But Deep Down I Know That's Not True. Some Of The Smaller Countries Are Neutral.

For Father's Day, My Kids Always Give Me A Bottle Of Cologne Called English Leather. It's Appropriate! To Them I Always Smell Like A Wallet.

Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children - It Leaves Your Midsection Unprotected.