Individuality' Is The Key To Success.

Every Day I Get Up And Look Through The Forbes List Of The Richest People In America. If I'm Not There, I Go To Work.

For Father's Day, My Kids Always Give Me A Bottle Of Cologne Called English Leather. It's Appropriate! To Them I Always Smell Like A Wallet.

Thanks To Modern Medicine We Are No Longer Forced To Endure Prolonged Pain, Disease, Discomfort And Wealth.

With My Luck, If I Ever Invested In General Motors, They'd Bust It To Corporal!

I Remember When Humor Was Gentle Pokes. I Used To Call It 'arm Around The Shoulder' Humor. Now They Go For The Jugular And They Take No Prisoners. It's Mean, Mean Stuff.