A Pessimist Sees The Glass As Half

Newspapers, Magazines And Other Publications Have The Constitutional Right To Be Offensive, Even Disgusting. As Evidence Of That, Just Watch This Space Regularly.

When I Conducted A Beer-rating Session Last Year, I Wrote That Most American Beers Taste As If They Were Brewed Through A Horse. That Offended Many People In The American Beer Industry, As Well As Patriots Who Thought I Was Being Subversive In Praising Foreign Beers. I Have Just Read A Little-known Study Of American Beers. So I Must Apologize To The Horse. At Least With A Horse, We'd Know What We're Getting.

Anyone Who Gives A Surgeon Six Thousand Dollars For Breast Augmentation Should Give Some Thought To Investing A Little More In Brain Augmentation.

It's No Coincidence That Female Interest In The Sport Of Baseball Has Increased Greatly Since The Ballplayers Swapped Those Wonderful Old-time Baggy Flannel Uniforms For Leotards.

Reagan's Approach Will Achieve One Of The Basic Goals Of The Conservative: Things Remain Basically The Same. The Rich Stay Rich And The Poor Stay Poor, Or Even A Little Poorer.