A Person Who Speaks Good English In

I Regularly Sell Out More In England Than I Do In America.

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

The Clintons Represent The Highest Level Of Corruption, But No One Has The Courage To Mention It. Instead They Talk About Rudy Giuliani. Over A Lifetime Of Excellent Service, There's Never Been A Hint Of Corruption In His Behavior But Everybody Investigates Him.

I Always Thought Music Was More Important Than Sex—then I Thought If I Don't Hear A Concert For A Year-and-a-half It Doesn't Bother Me.