A Kiss May Not Be The Truth,

I Actually Credit Twitter With Fine-tuning Some Joke-writing Skills. I Still Feel Like I'm Working At It.

I Got A Flue Shot And Now My Chimney Works Perfectly.

Love Is A Promise Delivered Already Broken.

I Believe The United States Should Allow All Foreigners In This Country, Provided They Can Speak Our Native Language... Apache.

Comedy Makes You Humble. Because There Are So Many Opportunities To Miss, And Strike Out.