I Got A Flue Shot And Now

I Don't Watch Myself Gener­ally. I Do Something, See It Once, And Then I'll Probably Never See It Again Unless It's An Accident.

A Kiss May Not Be The Truth, But It Is What We Wish Were True.

I Did A Lot Of Things When I First Started Out. In Order To Be In Show Business, I Juggled, I Did Magic Tricks, Cards Tricks And I Played The Banjo.

Always Do Business As If The Person You're Doing Business With Is Trying To Screw You, Because He Probably Is. And If He's Not, You Can Be Pleasantly Surprised.

I Actually Credit Twitter With Fine-tuning Some Joke-writing Skills. I Still Feel Like I'm Working At It.