A Glove Is A Very Literal Looking

I Set A Personal Record On Christmas. I Got My Shopping Done Three Weeks Ahead Of Time. I Had All The Presents Back At My Apartment, I Was Halfway Through Wrapping Them, And I Realized, 'damn, I Used The Wrong Wrapping Paper.' The Paper I Used Said, 'happy Birthday.' I Didn't Want To Waste It, So I Just Wrote 'jesus' On It.

When You're Wearing An Animal Costume And Something Bad Happens, Your Facial Expression Doesn't Change. The Animal Is Deadpan The Whole Time. If You're Skiing In A Gorilla Suit And You Fall, You Just See A Gorilla Who Has No Emotion. It's Just A Stoic Gorilla, Wildly Falling Down A Hill, Out Of Control.

I Wanna Make A Jigsaw Puzzle That's 40,000 Pieces. And When You Finish It, It Says 'go Outside.'

Nothing Wise Was Ever Printed Upon An Apron.

I've Often Liked A Girl, Made Her Laugh, And Thought She Liked Me, And Then Found Out That She Didn't Like Me That Way. I've Definitely Done Time In The Friend Zone.