A Glove Is A Very Literal Looking

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

I Don't Have To Kill Myself, Time Is Going To Do That.

My Plumbing Is All Screwed Up. Because It Turns Out, I Do Not Own A Garbage Disposal.

How To Be A Bouncer: Be An Asshole; Stand Near A Door.

Futon World - A Wonderful Place That Becomes Slowly Less Comfortable Over Time.