A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.

Avoid People Who Say They Know The Answer. Keep The Company Of People Who Are Trying To Understand The Question.

I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With A Punchline.

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

Before You Judge A Man, Walk A Mile In His Shoes. After That Who Cares?... He's A Mile Away And You've Got His Shoes!