A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

The Strangest Thing Is At Tea Breaks, Or Coffee Breaks Or Lunch, You Forget You're A Zombie. And You're Talking About Politics To Somebody At The Table And You Forget That You Have A Bullet Hole In Your Forehead.

Once You Become Successful, People Know Where You Live, The Type Of House You Live In, The Kind Of Car You Drive, The Clothes You Wear, And So It Would Be Patronising To Go And Talk Like A Welder. Welding's A Mystery To Me Now. You Can't Go Back, Your Life Changes Every Day.

Why Are There No Windows In The Toilets On Aeroplanes? To Protect You From The Most Dedicated Perverts On The Planet, Hanging Off The Wing To Get A Peep?

A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

I Don't Aim To Offend.