A Collison Is What Happens When Two

There Are A Lot Of Questions I Keep Asking Myself About Why I Do Comedy. I Guess I Laugh To Keep From Crying. And I Guess If You Ever Get Me Crying, I Might Not Stop. This Is The Way I Look At Tragedy Or Else I'll Cry.

It's Getting Harder And Harder To Differentiate Between Schizophrenics And People Talking On A Cell Phone. It Still Brings Me Up Short To Walk By Somebody Who Appears To Be Talking To Themselves.

I Don't Have A Show Anymore. I Don't Have A Check Coming In Every Week. This Is Important To Me, I Got To Score A Million Tonight Or It Could All Be Over.

I'm One Of Those Passengers Who Arrives At The Airport Five Or Six Hours Early So I Can Throw Back A Few Drinks And Muster Up The Courage To Board The Plane. Apparently I'm Not Alone Because I've Never Been In An Empty Airport Bar. I Don't Care What Time You Get There. Even At 8:00 A.m. You Have To Fight Your Way To The Bar. At That Hour, Everyone Drinks Bloody Marys So No One Can Tell It's Booze- At Least Until They Fall Off Their Chair.

It Was A Decision To Work Clean. I Just Prefer To Work That Way. I Have No Problem With Comedians Who Don't Work That Way. There Was A Temptation In The Early '70s To Reconsider. I Decided Against It.