A Boy Can Learn A Lot From

Drawing On My Fine Command Of The English Language, I Said Nothing.

I Have Often Wondered How They Manage To Get Return Envelopes Which Miss, By One-quarter Of An Inch, Fitting The Blank You Are Supposed To Return. They Say, "please Fill Out And Return The Enclosed Envelope," And The Enclosed Envelope Is Always One-quarter Of An Inch Too Small.

The Wise Man Thinks Once Before He Speaks Twice.

My First Big Mistake Was Made When, In A Moment Of Weakness, I Consented To Learn The Game; For A Man Who Can Frankly Say "i Do Not Play Bridge" Is Allowed To Go Over In The Corner And Run The Pianola By Himself, While The Poor Neophyte, No Matter How Much He May Protest That He Isn't "at All A Good Player, In Fact I'm Perfectly Rotten," Is Never Believed, But Dragged Into A Game Where It Is Discovered, Too Late, That He Spoke The Truth.

Next To An Old-fashioned Church Social, Or Possibly A Monster Bridge Party, There Is No Buzz Which Can Equal The Sibilant Buzz Ofa Matinée.