List of Jack Paar Quotes

Son Of Lady Chatterley's Lover Had Obvious Commercial Advantages (as A Title For This Book), But It Impugned The Marital Status Of My Parents, Something That Enough Critics Were Already Doing.

In An Interview Errol Flynn Said That His Hobby Was Acting But He Doesn't Have Time For It.

The California Cemeteries Make Dying Sound So Attractive It's A Real Effort To Keep Breathing.

It Was Plain To See The Hollywood Undertakers Take Care Of Everything. If You Die You Don't Have To Lift A Finger.

Then There Was The Time In Hollywood When I Sat Down In A Breakaway Chair And It Collapsed On Me. I Was Nearly Knocked Out And Might Have Been Even More Seriously Hurt But My Fall Was Broken By The Smog.

I'm Not Saying These Flying Discs Don't Really Exist, But Nobody Living In Kansas City Has Seen Them And That's A Dry State.

Disneyland Is Such A Big Thing To Californians, I Discovered That When You Cross The Border You Have To Raise Your Right Hand And Take An Oath That You Believe In Walt Disney.

She Should Get A Divorce And Settle Down.

... Variety And The Hollywood Reporter, Two Publications Read More Faithfully In Hollywood Than The Koran Is In Mecca.

Statistics Show That Many People Watch Our Show From The Bedroom. And People You Ask Into Your Bedroom Have To Be More Interesting Than Those You Ask Into Your Living Room. I Kid You Not!

Personally, I Like Those Mystery Shows. Ever Since I Was A Kid I've Been Crazy About Blood And Detectives And Murder. Maybe I Was Born With A Silver Knife In My Back.

The Only Non-believer I Encountered Was Oscar Levant Who Wouldn't Visit Disneyland Because He Said He Had His Own Hallucinations.