You've Got To Be In A Bad

I Tell Jokes For A Check; I'm On Tv For A Check.

You Don't Just Sit In The Car And Let Some Guy Drive You Through Life, Wasting Your Time.

I Tell My Boys Not To Play Rough With Their Younger Sister. I Try To Teach Them What I Know Already: You're Never Going To Win An Argument With A Girl, So Just Let Her Have What She Wants!

I Think There Are So Many Books Out There Written On Relationships And Romance That Women Are The Authors Of. How Can Women Know Exactly How Men Think? And There Are So Many Guys Out There With Relationship Books Who Are Just Not Telling The Truth. They Have Shaded Parts.

If I Were An Animal, I'd Probably Be A Bald Eagle, Since I'm Already Bald And I Love To Fish. But I'd Probably Be A Shaky-ass Eagle Because I'm Afraid Of Flying.