You're Not Really Drinking Coffee Unless You

That's The First Thing They Teach You In Bowling, By The Way. Don't Press The Ball Against Your Nose. The Other One Is Don't Lick The Pins.

Osama Bin Laden... Lived In One House For, Like, Six Years With Three Wives. And Earlier Today, They Ruled His Death Was A Suicide.

I Got My Lips Chewed Off By A Dingo!

Congratulations To Ohio State, Your New College Football Champions. Coach Urban Meyer May Be The Greatest Football Coach Of All Time. Don't Confuse Him With New York Mayor Bill De Blasio. That's Urban Quagmire.

Cbs News Finally Received Anthrax In The Mail. As Usual, We're Number Three.