You're Not Hardcore, Unless You Live Hardcore

Seems Like Every Other Day There's Somebody On The News, Somebody Gets Killed Or Does Something Crazy And All The Neighbors And Everybody Says, "i Can't Believe He Did That, I Can't Believe She Did That."

You Only Have To Go Hardcore Humiliation On The First Film. On The Subsequent Sequels, You Can Coast.

I Remember I Prayed To God. I Was Like, "just Let Me Be On Tv." Let My Friends See Me On Tv In A Good Thing. I Like, If I'm Funny A Little Bit On A Commercial And Then I Don't Need To Act Ever Again. "just Let Them See Me." And Then It Worked. I Got The Commercial. I Was On Tv. My Friends All Saw Me. I Was A Kind Of A Star At School For Like Three Days. And Then It Faded Away And I Was Hungry And I Had To Like Make Another Deal With God. I Remember It Still.

The Thing Is, The Kids Always Rebel Against What The Parents Try To Push On Them So I'm Going To Pretend Like I Don't Want My Son To Hear The Rock. I'm Going To Listen To It Only In My Private Chambers. He'll Hear Echoes Of It And Say: "what Was That You Were Listening To Papa?" And I'll Say: "nothing Son, You're Not Ready."

I've Had So Many Hot, Cheesy, Corny Loves Of Music In My Life. I Had A Very Intense Billy Joel Period. So Once You've Really Joeled It Up - There's Some Good Periods Of Joel; It's Not All Hot Cheese. But I Can't Judge Anyone Else For Their Cheese. I've Deep-sea Dived In The Gouda.