Your Responsibility As A Parent Is Never

Ask Your Child What He Wants For Dinner Only If He's Buying.

If Thine Enemy Offend Thee, Give His Child A Drum.

Technological Innovation Has Done Great Damage ... To Eating Habits. Food Is Now Available In Such Unpleasant Forms That One Frequently Finds Smoking Between Courses To Be An Aid To Digestion.

Never Relinquish Clothing To A Hotel Valet Without First Specifically Telling Him That You Want It Back.

I Just Can't Smile At People For Money.