Your Inability To See Yourself Clearly Is

I Think The Difference Between Being Miserable And Finding Happiness Is Just A Matter Of Perspective. If You Live Your Life Defining Yourself By What Other People Think Of You, It's A Form Of Self-torture.

Sometimes A Joke That Doesn't Work Just Needs A Breath Or A Little Word Or The Tiniest Little Change To Be Fixed.

I Think When You're 25 You're Still Finding Yourself, And You Should Have The Freedom Of That.

Anything Television Trivia I'm Good At. But When You're On Your Couch, You're Really Good At It, But When You're Standing There, It's Probably Scary.

I Got Jury Duty And I Didn't Want To Go, So My Friend Said, "you Should Write Something Really Really Racist On The Form When You Return It. Like, You Should Put 'i Hate Chinks'." And I Said, "i'm Not Going To Put That On There Just To Get Out Of Jury Duty. I Don't Want People To Think That About Me." So Instead I Wrote, "i Love Chinks." And Who Doesn't?