Your Husband Is Lazy If Coffee Doesn't

... If They [your Children] Write Their Names In The Dust On The Furniture, Don't Let Them Put The Year.

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!

I Am Descended From A Very Long Line My Mother Once Foolishly Listened To.

I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing In The Back Yard.

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.