You'll Fold Faster Than Superman On Laundry

The Idea Behind The Tuxedo Is The Woman's Point Of View That Men Are All The Same; So We Might As Well Dress Them That Way. That's Why A Wedding Is Like The Joining Together Of A Beautiful, Glowing Bride And Some Guy. The Tuxedo Is A Wedding Safety Device, Created By Women Because They Know That Men Are Undependable. So In Case The Groom Chickens Out, Everybody Just Takes One Step Over, And She Marries The Next Guy.

I Was The Best Man At The Wedding... If I'm The Best Man, Why Is She Marrying Him?

It's Like Having... You Know, Your Phone Has A Charger, Right? It's Like Having A Charger For Your Whole Body And Mind. That's What Transcendental Meditation Is!

There Is Nothing More Rewarding Than Completing A Goal You Have Set For Yourself.

Why Would You Want To Work For A Living If You Could Just Joke Around? Being A Celebrity Expands Your Commercial Possibilities.