You'll Blow Up A Helicopter, But You

I Actually Love Writing For Teens Best. I Had Such An Awful Time In My Own Teen Years - I Love Having The Chance To Relive Them Through My Fiction.

Smiles Like That Should Be Against The Law. Considering What They Do To A Girl.

No One Wants To Pursue Anything Creative Anymore, Because That's Too Risky. They May Not Get The Kind Of Return On The Financial Investment They've Made In Their Education That They Think They Should.

Do Not Chase Boys. Chasing Boys Is Bad. Chasing Boys Can Lead To Horrible Things Like Mansions Going Up Into Flames, Hand Amputations, And Blindness. So Have Some Self Respect And Don't Let Things Get Too Far Before The Wedding Day.

Sometimes Between Lunch And Dinner, When There's A Lull, Jill And Shaniqua And I Will Sit Around And Fantasize About What We'd Do If A Real Celebrity Walked Into The Place, Like Chad Michael Murray (although We've Gone Off Him A Bit Since His Divorce) Or Jared Padalecki, Or Even Prince William (you Never Know. He Could Have Gotten His Yacht Lost, Or Whatever.)