I Get Accused All The Time Of

Look, Mr. Uh, Wulf I Appreciate Your Trying To Warn Me About This, Ireally Do. But There's No Such Thing As Vampires. They're Made-up. We Writers Made Them Up. I'm Sorry We Did Such A Good Job That We Made The Whole World Paranoid, But It's True. They're Fictional. Blame Bram Stoker. He Started It.

My Mother's Psychologist Says I Have An Overactive Anger Switch, But People Just Keep Pissing Me Off.

I Thought About Telling Him The Truth: 'oh, Nothing. Just Having My Soul Exorcised So I Can Roam Around Purgatory, Looking For The Ghost Of The Dead Cowboy Who Used To Live In My Bedroom.

My Favorite Book Of All Time Is Cold Comfort Farm, By Stella Gibbons.

When He Smiled, Something Strange Happened To My Insides. It Was Like They Turned To Liquid.