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Shame Is The Proper Reaction When One Has Purposefully Violated The Accepted Behavior Of Society. Inflicting It Is Etiquette's Response When Its Rules Are Disobeyed. The Law Has All Kinds Of Nasty Ways Of Retaliating When It Is Disregarded, But Etiquette Has Only A Sense Of Social Shame To Deter People From Treating Others In Ways They Know Are Wrong. So Naturally Miss Manners Wants To Maintain The Sense Of Shame. Some Forms Of Discomfort Are Fully Justified, And The Person Who Feels Shame Ought To Be Dealing With Removing Its Causes Rather Than Seeking To Relieve The Symptoms.

We Have The Reverse Of The Puritan Work Ethic In America Now. No One Ever Becomes A Star By Plugging Along Year After Year. What Is Needed Is Flair, Talent, 'an Eye,' Contacts, Charisma, And, Most Of All, Naturalness.

The Etiquette Of Intimacy Is Very Different From The Etiquette Of Formality, But Manners Are Not Just Something To Show Off To The Outside World. If You Offend The Head Waiter, You Can Always Go To Another Restaurant. If You Offend The Person You Live With, It's Very Cumbersome To Switch To A Different Family.

Allowing An Unimportant Mistake To Pass Without A Comment Is A Wonderful Social Grace ... Children Who Have The Habit Of Constantly Correcting Should Be Stopped Before They Grow Up To Drive Spouses And Everyone Else Crazy By Interrupting Stories To Say, 'no, Dear -- It Was Tuesday, Not Wednesday.

It Is One Of Miss Manners's Great Discoveries That One Needn't Contradict Others In Order To Set Them Straight.