You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes

Life Is Just The Time Between Crapping Yourself.

Chicks Named Tammy Have A Greater Chance Of Actually Driving A Mercedes Than A Chick Named Mercedes.

If You Spend Your Life Walking Through Somebody Else's Museum, You Never Find Out Whether You're Rembrandt Or Not.

I'd Never Hurt Another Person.

I'm A Doofus From The Valley, A Blue-collar Guy.