A Peacock Escaped From The Central Park

Another Scandal For Hillary Clinton - They're Saying She Used A Private Email Address When She Was Secretary Of State, Which Means The Government Couldn't Archive And Preserve Her Emails. Then Obama Said, 'don't Worry, We Saw Them. We See Everyone's Emails.'

Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie Announced That He's Endorsing Mitt Romney For President. It's Good News For Romney. I Mean, You Always Want Chris Christie On Your Side. Unless You're In A Canoe.

Vladimir Putin Bribed A Soccer Official With A Picasso Painting So He Would Support Russia's Bid To Host The 2018 World Cup. Putin Was Like, 'it Wasn't Picasso, Just Picture Of What His Face Would Look Like If He Said No.' (nose Over Here, Eye Up Here, Ear In Forehead.)

President Obama And Mitt Romney Both Gave Commencement Speeches Over The Last Few Days. Obama Was Like, 'you Can Be Whatever You Want To Be,' While Romney Was Like, 'i Can Be Whatever You Want Me To Be.'

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'