You Might Be A Redneck If Your

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

Being A Comedian, People Tell Me Stuff They Shouldn't Tell Their Therapist.

How Is A Redneck Divorce Similar To A Tornado? You Know That Somewhere, Somehow, Someone Is Gonna Lose A Trailer.

I'm An Outdoor Nut. If I'm Not Working, I'm On A Tractor On My Farm, Hunting, Fishing Or Climbing A Mountain.

You Might Be A Redneck If There Are Four Or More Cars Up On Blocks In The Front Yard.