You Might Be A Redneck If Your

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Pork And Beans To Be A Gourmet Food.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

A Lot Of People Up North, They Think Everybody From The South Is Married To Their Sister And Has Seen A Ufo. I Told Them, 'i'm Just Dating My Sister And Couldn't Swear That It Wasn't A Weather Balloon.'

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.