You Might Be A Redneck If Your

Thank God I'm At That Point In My Career Where I Don't Have To Take Stuff That I Don't Really Want To Do.

You Moon The Wrong Person At An Office Party And Suddenly You're Not 'professional' Any More.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Christmas Present Was A Painting On Black Velvet.

In My Life, I Have Driven Some Crappy Vehicles. But I Have Never Been So Desperate For A Vehicle That I Wanted A Used Rental Car.

Watching A Baby Being Born Is A Little Like Watching A Wet St. Bernard Coming In Through The Cat Door.