You May Marry The Man Of Your

Suddenly, People Had Three Phone Numbers But Never Answered Their Phones.

I’m Not A Politician. I Think That Uniquely Qualifies Me To Become President Of The U.s.

My Family Were Hitters. If You Made Them Laugh, They Didn't Hit You. My Dad Wouldn't Hit Me If I Got Him With Humor Right Between The Eyes.

I Like To Get People Talking. I Am A Provocateur, And I Do Like Getting On Twitter And Riling People Up. You Know What, After A While Some Sane Dialogue And Sane Conclusions Come Of That Kind Of Thing.

I Say I'm The Only Serious Comedian In The Presidential Race. And I'd Like To Take This Opportunity To Ask Both Romney And Obama To Debate Me. Because I Think That Both Of Those Guys - I Think That The American People Are Being Given A False Choice, Because The Choice Between The Lesser Of Two Evils Is A False Choice.