You May Be A Redneck If... Your

Ladies Have Come Up With All These Expressions To Reassure Men. "oh, Honey, It's Not The Size Of The Ship, It's The Motion Of The Ocean." That May Be True, But It Takes A Long Time To Get To England In A Rowboat.

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

You Take A Normal Guy, Give Him A Wife, Give Them Time, And You've Got An Idiot!

Hell, When I Was In High School, A "drive-by Shooting" Meant Somebody Had Their Rear End Hanging Out A Car Window!

You Might Be A Redneck If You're A Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When It Gets Light.