You Know You're Old When Your Walker

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.

Fang Took The Entire Family Out For Coffee And Donuts The Other Night. The Kids Enjoyed It. It Was The First Time They'd Ever Given Blood.

Always Be Nice To Your Children Because They Are The Ones Who Will Choose Your Rest Home.

I Don’t Want To Sound Like I’m On Dope, But That Hour Is A High; It’s As Good As You Can Feel. A Wonderful, Wonderful Happiness, And Great Power.