You Know You're Old When Your Walker

I Don't Like To Cook. I Can Make A Tv Dinner Taste Like Radio.

When Buying A New House ... Buy The House Far Enough Away From School So Your Kids Can't Come Home For Lunch.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

I Admit, I Have A Tremendous Sex Drive. My Boyfriend Lives Forty Miles Away.

Your Husband Is Lazy If When He Leaves The House, He Finds Out Which Way The Wind Is Blowing And Goes That Direction.