You Know You're Old When Your Walker

I Want My Children To Have All The Things I Couldn't Afford. Then I Want To Move In With Them.

Too Many Comics Today Ramble. By The Time They Get To The Punch Line, The Audience Has Either Gone To Sleep, Gone To The Bathroom Or Gone To Bed.

Housework Can't Kill You, But Why Take A Chance?

We Have Far Too Many Kids. At One Time In The Playpen There Was Standing-room Only. It Looked Like A Bus Stop For Midgets. It Used To Get So Damp In There, We'd Have A Rainbow Above It.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.