You Know You're Lazy When You Run

Three Weeks Ago One Of My Dreams Came True. I Finally Got To See Something I Always Wanted To Witness Live. I Finally Saw Someone Get Hit By A Car... Nailed!

I'm A Deep Thinker When It Comes To Shallow No Brainers.

My Advice Is: To Try And Stay Really True To The Things That Make You Laugh, As Opposed To Trying To Create A Character That You Think Is Funny. Some Comedians Get Into Bad Habits When They Are Trying To Create Something That Is Not Them, And They Are Trying To Write A Voice That Isn't Their True Voice.

I Feel Like I Was Born And Bred To Stay Self-motivated. I'm Not One Of Those People Who Ho-hums And Feels Sorry For Himself When Something's Bad.

What Am I Supposed To Say To An Atheist When He Sneezes, Ah, When You Die Nothing Happens.