You Know Who They're Blaming For Global

Personally, I Hope He Doesn't Get Out Of The Campaign. I Need Rick Perry. I Don't Want To Spend The Next Year Trying To Do Jokes About Mitt Romney.

A Lot Of People Come To L.a. Looking For Something. What I Came Here For, I Realize Now, Is To Be Okay With Myself.

I Don't Know Now If I'm Funny. I Just Keep Talking And Hope That I Hit Something That's Funny.

The Universe Is Very, Very Big. It Also Loves A Paradox. For Example, It Has Some Extremely Strict Rules. Rule Number One: Nothing Lasts Forever. Not You Or Your Family Or Your House Or Your Planet Or The Sun. It Is An Absolute Rule. Therefore When Someone Says That Their Love Will Never Die, It Means That Their Love Is Not Real, For Everything That Is Real Dies. Rule Number Two: Everything Lasts Forever.

For Me, Comedy Should Have A Certain Amount Of Joy In It. It Should Be About Attacking The Powerful - The Politicians, The Trumps, The Blowhards - Going After Them. We Shouldn't Be Attacking The Vulnerable.