You Know What I'm Doing For Easter?

According To A Recent Study, Ten Percent Of 'star Trek' Fans Meet The Psychological Criteria For Addiction. Deprived Of Their Favourite Show, Some Trekkies Disply Withdrawal Symptoms Similar To Drug Addicts. Of Course, The Real Difference Is That Drug Addicts Aren't Nearly As Annoying.

In A New Issue Of Esquire Magazine, They Revealed That Before He Was Married To Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry Dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg And Dana Delany. Finally A Democratic Presidential Candidate With Good Taste In Women.

In His Annual Economic Report To Congress President Bush Said That The Transfer Of American Jobs Overseas Is Actually Part Of A Positive Transformation That Will Enrich The U.s. Economy Over Time. So Basically, Losing Your Job To Someone Else Can Be A Good Thing. Of Course We'll See How He Feels About That In November.

The Military Said We'll Be Able To Confirm Saddam Is Dead With Dna Testing. Apparently We Have A Sample Of His Dna. So Monica Lewinsky Is Working For The Cia?

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.