You Know What I'm Doing For Easter?

Having A Life Is Easy. Having A Career Is Hard To Come By.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry Referred To The Mexican City Of Juarez As The Most Dangerous City In America. In His Defense, He Probably Just Thought It Was An American City Because There Were So Many Mexicans There.

U.n. Officials Said Today They Desperately Need $7 Billion To Help People Cope With Disasters, But They're Having A Hard Time Getting People To Send Rescue Money. Here's What The Un Should Do: Invest In Bad Mortgages, Run A Bank Into The Ground, Give Yourself A Bonus, Get Some Spa Treatments And, In No Time, The Government Will Send You $750 Billion.

And Some Sad News... The First Lesbian Couple To Legally Get Married In The State Of Massachusetts Has Split Up. They Cited Irreconcilable Similarities.

The Circus Doesn't Stop. A Federal Appeals Court Has Postponed The Recall Election. How Stupid Are We? Even Our Recalls Get Recalled.