You Know What I Learned About Hawaiians?

Believe It Or Not, I've Got A Really Bad Metabolism. One Burger And I'm Done. I'm Not A Guy That Puts Away 10 Burgers.

I'm A Big Guy, But I'm Really Simple With The Food. I'll Hit The In-n-out Or Just The Regular Buffets.

As A Comedian, Especially One That Works As Much As I Do, There Is A Lot Of Sacrifice. People Don't See That I'm Away From My Family 46 Weeks Out Of The Year. I Miss All The Birthdays And Anniversaries And Holidays.

I'm A Comedian Who Happens To Be Latino. What's The Difference? The Difference Is, My Special Will Air On Comedy Central, Not Telemundo.

My Material Never Comes Out Verbatim Every Time. I Always Tweak In A Line, Or Tweak Away A Line, Gain A Couple Tags Or Lose A Couple Tags. The Timing Is Always Off.