You Have To Change Those Diapers Every

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

I Actually Had A Chance To Be In Delta Farce, But I Couldn't Do It Because I Read The Script.

It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As A Loser At 2 Years Old.

You Might Be A Redneck If Every Electrical Outlet In Your House Is A Fire Hazard.